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Originally Posted by rainbow8
We've never talked about "integrating my parts". I'm supposed to accept and have compassion for them, and then my Self is supposed to be able to take of them. I don't know why that hasn't worked. It could be because every time I see T, I never know if I will be triggered just by the way she looks. Last session when I talked about idolizing her, she said "I'm just a regular person." I keep thinking about that statement. I know it's true, but those parts don't! Maybe it's "just" transference, and I haven't worked it through completely.
It bothers me to be focused on her looks, and be attracted to her. She told me in the past that it's okay, even if she's a woman, but I still don't think it's okay. The whole situation upsets me, and I do need to get it talked out more before I terminate my therapy.
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You are supposed to unburden the parts from what ever trauma, emotion or need they are holding on to and once they are unburdened they will find a more constructive job within the system. Yeah right! My T is an IFS therapist and I honestly think he either afraid of me or just sucks at it. I laugh every time he asks if it is ok to speak to a part.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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