If I'm irratated or depressed and am doing all or nothing or black and white thinking or displaying grandiosity,

I don't mean any offense, but this sounds like BPD thinking; I'm just trying to be informative and again we're talking about distinguishing between bipolar and non-bipolar moods. I think bipolar disorder is less a disorder of patterns of thought processes (i.e. black and white thinking) than BPD is (or an aspect of BPD is). I think the thinking patterns you describe, themselves, could actually lead to depression and/or irritation. I think this is why therapy that targets this kind of thinking attempts also to alleviate the associated moods by changing the thinking.

Like I said, two of the ways I distinguish, myself, are changes in energy level associated with the mood, and how pervasive/tenacious/how long the mood lasts. I know for me, how I think about a given situation or person, can really affect my mood (non-bipolar and transient/short-lived mood), but once I've figured out what's going through my head and why, I can stop it in its tracks and feel better. I just have to be vigilant.