Hello,

Let me first start with saying it is difficult to talk about this; I am not used to talking freely about this subject.

My GF and I both want to have sex, and since neither of us has had sex or been in a sexual relationship before, we’re both nervous and have talked at length about our concerns with each other.

Both of us are terrified of an accidental pregnancy, and having discussed birth control options, our health and views towards children, we have talked about sterilization – for both of us. (Or at least one of us.)

Our reasons for this are because of our own individual health issues and our views towards children.

For me, I have a variety of disorders, including Asperger’s Syndrome, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, an ‘unspecified’ anxiety disorder, Post Traumatic Stress, Major Depression, and I used to be epileptic, and I strongly believe that I would be a terrible father because of my own history of abuse as a child. When I think about it, I don’t think I have what it takes to care for or love a child, and I see children as unnecessary and expensive. I really have zero patience or tolerance for a child.

My GF has a terrible case of Crohn’s Disease and, when she was born, she was a ‘Premie’ and had to be on life-support for the first year(?) of her life I think. Her mother almost died from the pregnancy, and because she was a ‘Premie’, her growth was stunted and that’s why she’s so short now.

We’re both in our 20s (she’s 4 years older than me) and I wanted to make this thread to see if there are other users experienced in this subject that could offer us some advice. If you are male and had a vasectomy done, can you offer me some advice? If you are female and had a tubal ligation(?) done, can you offer her some advice? Do you think sterilization is a good choice for us?

We both want to be intelligent and safe. Please be honest but respectful.

Thank you