I live in a house with my landlady, and her partner. It is very open concept, and even though we each have our own living rooms, it is so open that you can hear everything that goes on.Sometimes we'll both have tea, sitting in our own living rooms, talking, that's how open it is. So it's basically living with roommates. They do not know that I have alters of any kind, and I prefer to keep it that way. It's nobody's business, unless I choose to have them be a part of it.

When I'm feeling different/younger/vulnerable, whatever, I stay in my room, mostly. I tell her (which is true) that I suffer from migraines, and she usually assumes that is what causes it. I'm good at knowing when I'm okay to be around people and when I need to be alone, so this hasn't caused too many issues. I do avoid going into my living space sometimes, not because they are rude, mean or unkind, but because I don't want to be around people who do not understand.

Living with people can be stressful, especially if you are close to them, as stressors will often affect both of you. One thing that might help would be to come up with a list of 'worries' or issues that have the potential of coming up, and coming up with solutions to them. If you're afraid of being walked in on, you can always have something set up where you know where each other are. When I was working in residence at university, we were expected to have signs on our doors stating where we were so that we could set up better boundaries for our students. If our door said we were studying, students would know it was only important issues to knock for, whereas if it said we were just hanging out, they would know they could stop by and tell us their latest funny story or whatever. Something that might help would be giving her a heads up when you were in a sociable mood, when you are dealing with stresses, or need to be alone, etc.

I would also highly recommend having a roommate agreement based on the fact that you guys are friends, and you have some big issues you deal with daily, with the dissociation. It is so easy to overstep boundaries when living with friends, than it would be a stranger, and coming up with needs/expectations from the beginning can help you know where each other are at, and to help deal with any issues if they do come up later on. And it's not a binding 'you must' contract, it's an agreement that you will be aware of/try to keep certain boundaries etc. So if it doesn't work out, you can revise it later.

Things that might help with your situation would be what you expect/need her to do if you are going through x, y, or z stresses. This might help her not to feel so responsible or helpless when stuff comes up. It would also give you guys a chance to talk about it together before any issues would come up. It would also be a chance to keep it from ever becoming a patient/helper relationship. I've found that when I'm living with people and they find out I'm dealing with stuff they automatically decide they need to help me, by telling me what to do, take, etc. or where they feel very upset if I dont contact them a certain amount of times, just to assure them that I'm okay. None of these are normal for healthy relationships, but because I dissociate, they consider it another rules set. It has taken time to get to the point where I can tell them that if they are worried about me, it is their issue to work through, not my responsibility to reassure them (unless there is a valid reason for them to be concerned).

It might be a really great chance for you guys to recconnect!! Hope it goes well for you.
(Sorry if this was a ton of info :S)
IJ