Thanks guys so much for your replies. Today I had a tough day...I wanted to talk to my T, I miss her altough I'm upset.
And I was so frustrated with therapy and life in general...I cried myself to sleep and actually prayed God I wouldn't wake up ever again.

*Alexandra, thanks a lot for your enocuragement. I did take a big risk at telling her how nervous and embarrasaed I was. About it paying off or not...I guess I'll have to wait and see. I was very upset at the time I posted. But now I'm thinking she has a point.

I totally agree with what you said about acting out because unable to communicate. It would have been much more mature to express my frustration.

*Sodhonia, I really hope you are right and therapy gets easier...but right now, it just feels threating...I'll try to be honest with her...about being positive...I can't do that yet

*Suzy you made me smile
I'm not sure my t will find it hilarious though!