I ended up with a restraining order against my exh. He never acknowledged that he has this[BPD], even though the paperwork from the hospital visit, he had, just about three years ago, says otherwise.

The reason, for the ro, was rather recent, even after divorce. 3 months, whether it be, BPD or depression or anxiety, is FAR from being 'over it', therapeutically, speaking.

I became, involved recently, myself. I can appreciate what you mean, about someone just 'being themselves', and how that helps alleviate the fears of any relationship, after being involved in an abusive relationship.

Hope you all the healing, in the world, as you move past the woman who abused you, and traverse the journey with someone who sounds more NON material, than an abusive person.