Twigger I'm going to give you a dose of reality, be honest and supportive all at the same time, so please do not take offense and I apologize in advance if you do take offense. I honestly have no radar or filter on what is appropiate I just try to be honest and hope for the best.

There is absolutely NO PERFECT relations. Never gonna happen! GUARANTEED! IMHO I think you are being overly playing your expectations. They are not rational. Everyone needs space and some privacy. Demanding to know everything about another person's life is IMHO being controlling and invading that privacy. She sounds pretty normal to me. Heck if we all knew every thing our spouse or partner was doing every minute there would be no relationships at all. The fact and truth is every one or most every one has and does engage in questionable activity that can be questioned. Rather then focus on that and dwell on that which is not healthy at all, you should take comfort that she is still with you and trying to be as open and honest as possible for her. You can not expect her to be just like you. That's unfair. I think you need to cut her some slack let her have her private time and space. That will be a much more healthier relationship. And if this relations works out or not will not depend on how honest each are. It's going to depend on how long you can both feeling attracted to each other. Don't let these petty things and yes I consider the texting/emails petty too. Would I like it or approve? Nope. But it would not be a show stopper if she showed regret and said she was sorry. How often would I forgive her? Dunno. The point really is not to worry about it. Enjoy what you do have which is way more then a lot of people ever have!