Hi! My gf and I have a great relationship in many respects but her depression (which I've always known about but has become worse) is a concern between us.

She gets very upset very easily, cries, withdraws; has symptoms including insomnia and not eating, anxiety, feeling hopeless and worthless, indecisive, and has suicidal ideation (which worries me most of all). Now there's a crisis at work which is worsening the chronic illness.

I have gone through depression myself and am sympathetic and try to be supportive however I can. I admit I've gone a bit overboard on suggestions like joining a support group, reaching out to colleagues who could help with work, going out to movies or reading light fiction for distraction, etc. Plus, of course, advising her to see her pdoc and therapist.

She is resistant, tends to minimize the seriousness of it and shrug off potential assistance. She says can manage on her own, etc. With no coping skills beyond exercise. She is on meds but they're not helping much. She is tired of hearing me encourage her to call her doctor or take an Ativan or book time off work, etc. Or try yoga or self-help or a group or anything - anything I suggest gets rejected, which frustrates her and I both. So, okay, I get it, I've stopped giving unwanted advice.

What DO I do then? I feel helpless as I watch her getting worse and worse and can't seem do anything to help her.

I do (continue to) tell her how much and why I love her, with reassurances she's not what her cognitive distortions lead her to believe she is. Also that things change and there's always hope even when it's not in sight. But these words don't seem to have any effect as she spirals further down.

What can I do? Suggestions from people on both sides of this relationship coin would be much appreciated. Thanks.

edit - We don't live together (yet, but we are engaged) and it's a long distance relationship so I can't even give her a real hug until I see her again next month. Not being able to be at her side sucks.