I read your example and it doesn't seem like he just got stressed and took it out on you. I think you both need to work on communication skills. Why do you think your conduct during the family day argument was ok? You got stressed and took things out on him too.

He didn't physically abuse you. You are the one who has thrown things at him. I really think you are projecting onto him and you urgently need to consider counselling as an individual and a couple as right now your view on the situation is being skewed by all your past stuff. Right now you are pushing him until you get the reaction you expect.