I absolutely agree with your last sentence. I often wonder if recovery IS actually totally possible, this is my personality after all. It's good to hear that you worked through this though! I am also exactly the same as you. I go back and back to hurtful people because I find it so hard to leave. I just forgive over and over.
I also still value and devalue people A LOT. I tried explaining to my boyfriend the other day that while I do absolutely love him..some days I do honestly hate him and wish he was dead...and for no reason too. It's tough :/ I hope you can overcome this!