I have learned to keep my mouth shut. Though that does not seem to help much since it's possible to read the expression on my face - which is usually negative, confused or non-emotional - easily.

Here's my final suggestion: become a patent attorney. Seriously. I used to work in intellectual property law as a paralegal. Patent attorneys make a lot of money but are rarely good looking. Their trade requires 2 advanced degrees and some have 3; they spend lots of time behind a desk and are not in the best of shape. Their wives, however, are gorgeous! Beautiful women gravitate towards men with money regardless of what they look like and most patent attorneys are not especially attractive. The patent attorneys also make enough for generous lifestyles that include vacations and nice homes and cars. You don't have to be good looking to enjoy a rich life.