Thank you all for your input.

My wife defines anything that you go outside of the marriage for as infidelity. When you marry, your partner becomes your go-to for all your personal needs. If you aren't getting what you need, you have to work harder with your partner to identify and attain those needs. Over the last year or more I've grown to truly feel she is right.

My actions damaged her self esteem. The lying made it worse. Much worse. I never recognized how much this bothered her. I didn't hear her with my heart.

I've got a second chance, and I think she is in part punishing me. She also wants to distinguish herself from the online girls who "give it away". She wants me to work for her sex. She wants to see effort, adn she wants to shoot me down for it sometimes. She wants me to take risks and fail sometimes. By her reasoning, she is taking a risk in staying with me, and she feels vulnerable during sex with me. She needs things to be equal between us.

I have no "game" when it comes to women. To be honest, my wife was the first woman I pursued. Before meeting her, I was usually the one pursued. I honestly don't know how to make her feel like a desireable, sexual woman.