Hi Big Mama. I'm sorry to hear things are going rough.

As a guy, I do certainly understand his perspective...La gra go deo said it best, I think. We are sort of hardwired that way (and at times it sucks, trust me ). But while I do understand where he's coming from, he needs to be willing and able to work with you on this. Right now, your healing should take priority. Yes, I know that requires him to be patient in an area that we, as a gender, can struggle to be patient in. But right now, it's in the best interest of you both for him to work with you in healing through this.

To what extent does he know and understand your perspective on this? From what you posted, it sounds like he believes he is the issue. While we both know that's not the case, I think if he can be convinced that he's not at fault (there is no "fault" to speak of at all here, but more than likely, he thinks something is wrong, sexually, on his end) it might be easier for you both.

Do know you're in my prayers, and I hope things improve soon.

Hugs,
Harley