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IMHO the mental health industry is just beginning to get clued in on how to help people overcome and move beyond their PD’s.
The operative word is “beginning”, though. I had tried for years to get “help” for - - I wasn’t sure and neither were the therapists. But finally I lucked into finding a specialist who has helped.
Anybody with a PD (I was diagnosed with PDNOS, probably had OCPD before I fell apart) is likely to trigger unresolved issues with a poorly trained therapist, and/or one who doesn’t know him/herself well. That’s according to my T, because I have spent a good bit of time complaining, now that I’m getting better, about all the ineffective, possibly harmful therapy I had in the past. OK, they did their best, I still got hurt “trusting” them.
My T also said that it made her sad that no other therapist had been able to have a real relationship with me, and in her opinion I had never had one in my life (except with my late husband). That really makes sense to me now, too, but I could not know it before she sat there and let me be myself and tolerated stuff she didn’t like, and even said so while at the same time I still felt somewhat accepted. Being idealized isn’t at all the same as having a real relationship with someone. Yeah, therapy is a “relationship” with a person who is a professional at having relationships. Still. . . the best way I’ve found of learning – that and a bunch of support groups.
In my case my “self” had to get re-connected again before I could “find” it. Or, maybe – I had to find the lost parts and accept them before they could get reconnected back into me. Whatever your situation, I’d guess it would take a while, be extremely painful and disorienting at times (it has been for me), but ultimately – if you want to undergo the process of change, I wish you the best. There need to be more of us succeeding and more success stories. I think we’ve got an unduly bad reputation at the moment. Judgmentalism is currently in vogue but I don’t think it will be forever.
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