A bit embarassing to admit but I regularly have nightmares with themes of severe violent sexual mutilation and torture. I mean full-on, out-there hard-core, extreme sexual abuse to men, women, children and animals. I don't feature in the dreams usually. I float in them as a helpless bystander forced to watch others' suffering. They seem to go on for a long time. I can feel myself trying to wake up out of it but can't I get all worked up emotionally till finally wake with a fast heart rate and heavy breathing. I wake feeling very emotional, traumatised and distressed. These nightmares while sexual do no turn me on. They terrify and repulse me. And I'm ashamed and embarassed that I have them.
I want to know why I have them, what they mean, and whether other people have the same or similar.
I also have nightmares about animals being tortured and maimed with me trying unsuccessfully trying to save them. Any thoughts?