@Twigger - I was on the side you are going through and it is awful. I was with my last partner for 10yrs kept hoping she would change her ways. I worked to change me more hoping she would 'want" me more and it just drove me insane. With all the cheating and the lies things could never be the same no matter how much I had HOPED. Once trust is broken it is so hard to get back - like the saying "once a mirror is broken things never look the same" I had to end the relationship and it was hard but it was too unhealthy for me. I deserve better. As for this married chick she is throwing herself at me. I am not trying to break up her marriage - reason I push myself away I know the pain of being the other person who gets hurt I just wish she would stop the sexual talk - I told her before how I felt and how this is weird and I do not have conversations like this with any of my other friends. She stops the sex talk for awhile but I have noticed a pattern of when it comes up - she has trust issues with her husband and when things get bad she comes my way or she deals with mental health issues and hits some pretty dark places she comes my way. I can't and won't be that for her. It feels wrong to me because of the marriage and I carry enough guilt and do not need this too. I just need to figure how to approach her and say this isn't cool nor fair to her husband and myself.