it seems difficult to live a "meaningless" life, until one accepts it, then it becomes very liberating~! the brain is hardwired to want to find out if something relates to our safety and satisfaction. when it can't do this, it gets fussy. but when that function breaks or is broken, then everything is OK. radical acceptance is wonderful ~

i guess deferring til after death is kind of like that~

best wishes~
Gus