Afternoon Couch

Since the current topic seems to be the dentist, I'll start there. I go to a sedation dentist. Any major work that I need to have done, I get a sedative beforehand. Smaller work, I get laughing gas. I'm out enough to be awake, but I don't care one bit. Just the way I like it. My dentist is the nicest guy in the world. I found him after I cracked a tooth a few years ago. Hadn't been to a dentist in over 18 yrs before then, but now I go every 6 months. Amazing what a nice dentist can do.

** possible trigger warning for sui talk **

Sorry, not sure when the tw needs to be here and when it doesn't.
My morning went okay. Had an appt with my personal t. I don't think it's ever good to feel like crying every time I think about it, so I'm trying not to. Keeps bringing up that I need to choose to live. Talked about transference yet again. Talked about my anxiety, depression and my sui thoughts being so high as I'm getting more energy and my ED wanting to make a comeback. I'm wanting to disappear from lots of things right now, so he's watching me to make sure I'm not talking about anything permanent. I'm not and won't, but I know he gets worried. Lots of fun stuff this morning. Honestly, there was one fun moment both last Friday and this morning with my t. He danced for me. Even if it was only in his chair on Friday and in the hallway today, how many other Ts have done that? It was funny.

Now I have an appt with my ED t and my dietician on Thursday and another appt with my personal t if needed on Friday. Let's hope that I won't.