I've touched on some anxieties I have with family stuff lately but would really appreciate a little perspective. I'm the youngest and only girl (26), have always been the closest of the children to my parents, have always looked to them for reassurance on pretty much any decisions I make, and have always really been uncomfortable or anxious when they disagree with me or make comments. That being said, lately I feel the need to "cut the apron strings", really focus my thoughts and time on being a better ME, and trying not to always worry about what they are thinking about me or my life, becoming an independent woman!

I live about 30 minutes from them and my husband and I used to spend quite a bit of time with them- going out for dinner, hanging out at their house, watching movies, etc.- much more so than my brothers ever did (but they also are busy with their own children and we do not yet have any). I guess my question is, during this sort of transitional period, I wouldn't want to push them away altogether.

I email my mom almost daily, call about once a week to say "hi" and check in, and we see them probably 2-3 times a month. This is much LESS than it used to be- used to call for trivial questions, fill them in on my day, etc as needed. I don't know where the balance is. I don't want to feel guilty for not wanting to spend so much time/energy on them and wondering what they're doing, are they wondering why we aren't stopping by this weekend or calling as much?, etc.

Not sure how often is often enough to see/call. If I used my brothers as a measuring stick, I'm willing to bet they rarely call just to chat, and rarely make plans with them besides the times the whole family gets together or for babysitting. But, I can safely bet that they don't sit around and worry about these things.

It's hard for me to deal with change and I do love them, I'd just more often than not rather be at my own home on the weekends or doing things with my husband or friends- is that selfish? But then when I do see them, I feel like there's always comments about how no one ever calls or wants to come over anymore (laying on guilt or is is justifiable?)

How can I strike a balance in all of this... Any help please! I know post is more like a tangent but I think anyone with anxiety can relate when you have something that occupies your mind and once you start talking/writing, it just spills out. So I apologize that this is so long and scatterbrained, I could just really use some supportive banter.