Hey there Viamoonlight. I am sorry your having a hard time.

One of the things I did when learning of dissociation I journaled and talked to myself. That way it allows parts of yourself to come out and parts can be allowed to write. Even some of my young parts, draw because they are unable to spell.
I hope you find a place within you to feel comforted and loved.

Best wishes (((Viamoonlight)))) and hang in there.
Your new friend,
Crew