After a verbal confrontation I had with a coworker Sat night, I said an awful thing to her and then went out drinking. I rarely drink because I just don't find it enjoyable. But I wanted to that night and I did. Later when I spoke to another coworker I was drunk by then and felt like she was against me and so I said f all of you! I quit! Then I didn't show up next morning. I've been at that serving job for 3 months after quitting another job and moving out of area to start over. Ive never had a confrontation like that here everyone has really liked me and there were never any problems. But this girl is 2 months pregnant and hormonal and screamed in my face and in the mood I was in it was hard not to take it personally.
Now I've been in bed going on third day, no shower, and I have no money I need to get out of bed and find another job so I can pay my bills and rent. I have no car so I have to walk to these places. Fine lots of people don't have a car but it all seems so daunting and worthless. I've had over 120 jobs. I have maybe 1 real friend, no family. I hate myself. I've lost hope. People look at me and see an attractive, smiling girl. Ha! Look closer the smile is fake and my left arm is covered in old cutting scars. What's the point