After telling my T this week that I used thought of her to sooth myself I had a lovely experience yesterday. I started to think of a friend and felt that same lovely warm glow that I feel when I think of T.

In my past I've always had felt as if I was desperate to find a "mother figure". Be it at work or where ever. I just felt alone and afraid and unloved. Now I am able to "let in" these feelings from the appropriate people in my life, ie friends and immediate family, I am no longer attaching to everyone.

Before I had no idea of who meant something to me or who didn't. I was like a piece of paper being thrown around in the wind and just waiting to stop and hopefully someone would be there. Sometimes this would lead me into unhealthy friendships because I didnt understand.

It seems T is right, I wont always "need" her, but I'll always be grateful to her for helping me become "reborn" :-)