I'm a sophomore in college, trying to get my bachelor's degree at a four-year public university. This might be a long post, so bear with me.

During my first year of school, I tried very hard to do my best, but I ended up goofing off. I'm not sure what happened. I guess being away from home, from mom and dad, meant that I could do whatever I want, so I think I spent too much time surfing the net than actually getting any work done. Because I got really good grades in high school without having to put much work into it, I assumed college would be the same. But I found out the hard way that wouldn't work when I lost my scholarships after the year ended to an insufficient GPA.

My mom was a little upset, but she wasn't angry or anything and she told me sometimes you need a wake-up call to get back on track. I took two classes over the summer to boost my GPA back up and get my scholarships back. But now I'm falling back into the same predicament that plagued me during my first semester. I'm trying harder than I did previously, but I'm still goofing off. I rush to do my schoolwork so I can get back to my laptop and my grades in my classes are suffering. I skip class sometimes when I don't feel like going. I mean, I'm not doing terrible, but I have this growing concern that if I don't pull it together, I'm going to lose my scholarship again.

I'm trying not to put pressure on myself, because, as my family knows, I get stressed easily and it's not good for my health. Sometimes I cry when I'm stressed. I was feeling really good this past, since I started taking up yoga and studying my bible more to relieve my stress. But I got back some grades from some classes that were less than pleasant, and now the stress is coming back. And I don't want to lose my scholarship again and make my mom worry. She has health problems and she doesn't need any more worries in her life.

I'm trying not to be stressed, but I just can't help it. I really want to do well this year and get on the Dean's List this semester. It felt to easy to say it before school started, but now that I've been thrown into the water, I feel like I'm drowning with no hope of reaching the surface. I have so many people around me, my family, my church, who want me to do my best, and I feel like I'm letting them down somehow.

I feel really upset right because I think I failed a Stats test today, I have a Biology test tomorrow which I have to do well on because I'm fairly certain I'm pushing a D right now in the class, along with other work I have to do, for classes that I need to do well in. It's just...I really need someone to help me. Because I feel like I may have a breakdown coming up.