|
Nov 05, 2013, 09:50 PM
|
|
|
|
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,486
|
|
I know you've already tried this, but what comes to my mind (especially given the awful cycle of guilt, I know what that's like  ) is going in baby steps. I know you've tried it, but maybe if you could be super-specific about it. If you make, each day, with your morning coffee or whatever, a tiny list of what you will do that day with the horse. Feeding her 1 carrot. Period. Grooming one part of her, not all (if this is possible?) and finishing another day. Tiny things, but that you can do. Have that wondrous moment afterwards of crossing it out. Really little things. Half a carrot! I know what it's like for each little thing to be a triumph -and each little thing you do will be a triumph!
Also, maybe at the beginning of the weak, from the outset, allow yourself a day or two (or three) free of any obligations of the horse. So you don't feel that you have to do something -however small- every day. Give yourself days off from it all. And try to spend those days, which you have marked previously as a 'day off' enjoying yourself *without guilt.* Even if it's lounging on the couch that day. Or picking a specific movie or show to watch on the couch that day. That too, is a triumph.
I really do know what it's like. I often write in my journal when I get home from work: "I made it through." Just that. I went to work, I made it through a whole day at work, I came home. "I made it through." And it's a triumph that most people could never understand.
I get it, though, and I know you can 'make it through' too, whatever little thing you put your mind to, on a given day.
|