Damn what luck you got a control freak lesbian, most are very tolerant of gay men. Also my last boss was a female she was str8 but there was a gay male in our group that quickly moved up way to fast and every one thought it was because he was gay. But he was in his 20's and was overly feminine more female then most females actually. Did not act like any gay men I ever met, yet for some reason my boss loved him. Go figure. Don't give you will find a spot where it's a good fit. But I would definitely get out of NYC! New England states are beautiful and the cost of living is more reasonable for NYS. Good Luck!