Hello and welcome to Psych Central! Off hand, I wouldn't think ADHD would have anything to do with that behavior. Have you pointed out the double standards to him? It sounds like he is the one who is feeling rather paranoid or insecure.

I have a friend who has been married a long time to a man. Every time we go shopping he has to call or text her--sometimes more than once. She says he gets bored at work, for one thing.

Is there generally any reason why you can't make contact with him at least once during the day? He just might have the idea in his head that that's what a wife should do.

I hope the two of you can talk about this matter and come to some happy resolution.