Thanks for all the help and support!

Just to give everyone an update, I already feel immensely better I've had the last 2 days off from work which has helped so I could relax. The only bad thing is I find myself sleeping ALL day. Both today and yesterday I slept in till 2pm. Which sucks because then it gets dark in 3 hours at 5pm lol. Kinda feel like I wasted my day.

But whatever I was going through has passed. It's so weird to think I could have such STRONG emotions and feel like absolute crap, not quite suicidal but feeling of absolute despair and misery, and then a few days later I can feel back to myself again, (aside from the extra sleep, but maybe I just needed it?)

I decided I'm just going to keep my pdoc apt and see him in 2 weeks like I was supposed to, and I made an apt to see my therapist next week.

Also... I texted my friend today and said "Are you mad at me? I opened up to you about something personal and I haven't heard back from you " and she actually texted me right back and said how sorry she was that she was even saying how she needed to text me back today, that she's been super busy with work, but she's sorry I felt that way and isn't mad at me. She even wants to get together for dinner and drinks sometime this week

So everything is a-okay. Sometimes you just need to ride through the emotions, know that they are only temporary, and know that everything WILL get better!