it went ok ,I mean at this point I am not freaking out.things started out crazy .I usually do in the back door and all doors were locked except for the front .I get in to find my T waiting for me at the reception desk. it was exactly 3 . this alone freaked me . I didn't know if it was because she called me out last session about being late lately. I just don't feel I need to be on time if she was always going to be 5 to 10 min late all the time. I did start out the session by asking about the doors. she told me that on Friday they had received a bomb threat and ever sense they have been on lock down.

she asked me if I remember what we were talking about last session she never brings up the last session but I had an idea before I even went that she was not going to let it go .I didn't think she was going to be so up front with it. I shrugged but realized I need to start someplace and decided to whisper yes . honestly the rest of the conversations and a mixture of what I wanted to hear and not wanting to hear but it is fragmented so im sorry if a lot of it makes no sense at all.i think she started by saying we were talking about the mother putting your hands on the stove . I shrug. she said that is the first time you have told me she did that, why? I said I didn't feel it was all that important. she said that isn't true that if it wasn't important I wouldn't have brought it up. (I didn't think I did, she asked how my dreams were I answered) she insisted I did ,I didn't want to argue so I shrugged and let it go. she said it is important because at a young age I learned that hurting myself was how I received love. that statement sounded absolutely insane to me . never ever have I received love when I hurt myself .especially from the mother.it is crazy. she insisted on this .I got kind of angry at her and said .do you really think the mother spent any more time with me then she needed to do this to me ,and I just kind of laughed. she said probably not but for you at the time it was probably an eternity . and you sure have done a lot of hurting yourself..

I couldn't talk anymore I admit I was completely confused. I said to her after a bit that I don't know what to say. to this responded I think you do ,you just don't want to talk. and then I got the why are you here question. I said because I want to feel better. she said this is what you do in therapy. you talk about things.

she talked about how what the mother did was not normal. I guess I did but I don't understand what am I suppose to do with all this information .it is so hard and it hurts. it is completely overwhelming.
I told her that when the mother did this I was nor prepared for it .I had no idea what was going to happen . she said no one could be . I thought I would be. I never had the chance to bring up the burning my fingers on the radiator