Some times my H needs to get his "FIX" before we can move into the role of him being able to spend time on my enjoyment. Until he gets his, it is useless. Afterwards it is more possible. HE gets his, we spend 40 min to an hour on my enjoyment, by then he is ready for round two.

That is how it used to be prior to T and working on my issues that seem to be very triggering right now. Hopefully that is how it will be again some day.