I went through that for a while. I had to stop and hold out as long as possible, and then when I finally gave in it was like sweet relief. I also had to find a new spot. Perhaps these things will work for you? I know I shouldn't "encourage" self harm, but if it keeps you from attempting an unsure if you want it sui, then I say sh as much as you need. I'm sorry you are feeling so low right now, I wish I could help you more. Here's a hug!