Hi medicalfox! Sorry to see you in the ed forum, even though it is always nice to see you. Are you currently addressing any eating/body issues with T ot Dr's? Are you willing to? That is honestly the best way to get back into healthy eating patterns. Does boyfriend's input help or hurt? You don't have to give him control over your food choices unless you want to or find it more healthful. Would you be willing to see a nutritionist? If your doctor writes an order/referral for it is the best way to have it covered by insurance if you are concerned about cost.
I know much much easier said than done, but try your best not to focus on your size or weight. You already know your view may be inaccurate due to bdd. Try your best to instead concentrate your efforts on eating a variety of nutritious foods until you can get an appointment with a pro. Is it an okay thing to ask your bf for help with this? If your body is getting nutrition it needs, that might help a little bit with symptoms. I'm so sorry you are struggling.