Insanity- doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over again and expecting different results.

If you want your situation to change you are going to have to actively do something to change it.

I think you should think about what fayerody suggested, kicking them out. By letting them stay there and taking care of their kids and cleaning up after them you are enabling them to sit there and do nothing. Are you waiting for them to leave on their own...cause think about it... if you had a 24 hour babysitter and a maid and didn't have to do a thing for it would you really give that up, especially if giving it up required effort (like finding a job and a place to stay). I know I wouldn't.

As for your husband not understanding... he's a guy... no offence to all the men out there, but it does sometimes take extra effort/ different techniques to get through to them. Have you tried writing a letter to him? By writing it you can take out some of the chances at lashing out at him from frustration. You can also tell him in it why you chose to express your feelings through writing. (Just a suggestion though)

Another thing that might help is some time with girlfriends or your husband, like going out to a movie or dinner or something else you enjoy. I don't know if your brother in law or his girlfreind would comply, but you could ask them to watch the kids for a few hours so you could do a special date night with your husband. If they won't do that then you might have more luck getting your husband to comply/babysit so you can do the same thing just with your girlfriends.

These are just some ideas/suggestions. I hope they help.

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

I hope things get better