Hey thank for the reply. It seems like I really don't sleep much and eating is just weird to me too. I work nights so everything is always messed up. I also don't take meds. I've never been able to tell a real professional anything. I've been sent to them MANY times and then just convince them that I'm fine and leave. I've gone on my own twice and that's as far as it got...just going. I froze up and couldn't talk about anything. I've experienced symptoms of everything it seems so it makes me wonder if I just need to take a break from it all and just spend some time thinking about what's important to me and what's real and just trying to find a real direction to my life instead of wandering aimlessly and just letting time pass. I'm also really sorry if I'm rambling right now but I have so many thoughts going through my head right now about where I've been, where I am and where I'm going. Well, I feel like I'm going nowhere but I'm kinda used to that now. I'm honestly starting to feel like the best way to be better is to pretend to be better. And then if I fake it for others long enough, maybe I'll start to believe it myself. I finally posted here for the first time in a while just because I didn't know what else to do. I don't even know why I did it since I can't seem to find words for anything.