She has self-esteem issues, and always has.

This has come in the way of our sex lives in the past.

Instead of continuing to work through it with her, I used porn as an outlet.

She has strong moral obligations to porn, feeling that most of the women in porn are exploited, on drugs, too immature to make long lasting decisions, seeking something in their lives that is missing, etc.

She will never be OK with porn in our marriage.

She will never be OK with feeling like she had to compete with porn actresses for my attention. My attention belongs with her.

Even seeing someone on the street thinking they are attractive is not the same as pointedly searching out internet material and lying about it to my wife for years. What I did was really wrong.

Right now, i think my sex life is over. I should have nurtured what I had instead of looking elsewhere.