Ah, I see what you mean now.

For me, learning interdependence in the therapist/client relationship has evolved verrrrrry slowly. It's only happened because my T is a rock. It started with being able to lean on him a little and have him support me. In the therapy context, it's been me being able to tell him something that causes me pain and him providing the right response, whether that was empathy, or a different way of seeing it, or a way out of the pain. It started with little things, and as the trust grew, the hurts I trusted him with got bigger, deeper. It's still evolving.

As for the flip side of being interdependent, that is being steady for someone who needs it, well, that's been something I've done since I was a kid, so I haven't needed much there. But when I talk about my friendships, T reminds me that they need to be reciprocal, so I need to make sure that I'm getting my needs met, too. He points out when he thinks it's been a really long stretch of me taking care of someone else without return, since I tend not to even notice it. While I make the choice to address with the friend or not, he's at least helping me to recognize that there might be something that needs addressing in the first place.