My feeling on being a stepmother is still a little raw, but Webjohi is right in saying let the father do the discpline because you will never win. I've been married for 16 years but after my stepdaughter moved in with us when she was 16, my marriage has never been the same. I should have left years ago but didn't(circumstances I couldn't control kept me stuck). The depression came and I had no will to do anything. There will never be the love, trust or intimacy that there was in the beginnng. It is only co-existance but it is comfortable I guess.