Thanks everyone. It feels good to be able to open up in a place where people know what it feels like to be depressed.

Differing opinions on meds there. I am not sure if taking them is a good idea but I am going to give them a try. If after 2 months or so there is no effect, or the side effects outweigh the positives I'm going stop again. I'm quite worried about the sleep thing as I am a talented insomniac anyway. But then I survived three months on a very high dose of steroids a few years back where I virtually didn't sleep at all.

I am also hoping to start therapy. There are some self destructive behaviours that if I am honest I have displayed for many, many years. They need addressing. I know nothing about therapy at the moment. CBT seems to be popular for depression? Will have to do some research.

Off to bed in a minute. I'm still feeling low but I'm also feeling like I have made progress today by seeking help.