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Originally Posted by winnied'c
I think it should be easy for you, but understand where your coming from. I saw your blog and you are super talented too!
Think of your coffee date, as just that! A coffee date, getting to me someone new who may have the same interests. Don't push the relationship, let it take its course, if it is even to have a course. Be polite and kind and courteous as you are in your posts...if you don't feel that same reciprocating feeling back then...Okay I only spent a hour with xyz and a coffee date. If it does go nicely, maybe another coffee date. Try to open yourself up to the possibilities of a good healthy relationship and what that might look like to you! No relationship is as rosy as it looks from the outside, even Mothers!
You must learn to love your talents, be proud and confident. What makes you feel loved, or confident in yourself....It appears you should have a good many things to talk about in this regard over coffee!  |
I have met technically met him and we have a lot of common interests. We're both musicians and in fact, we both play the same instrument. We both have different career goals within the music field that compliment each other (i.e. he wants to be a band director and I want to be a composer of band music). I don't think there's any way to run out of things to talk about with him…not to mention that's he's really good at conversation and makes me feel self-conscious about saying something wrong or not being able to remember the name of something (which seems to happen more often to me than other people my age or at any age for that matter).
Quote:
Originally Posted by gayleggg
I have always gotten crushes and they usually led to some disasterous relationships. Usually I'm manic and get carried away thinking I'm "In Love" when I'm usually just for some reason sexually attracked to someone. It led me to affairs, that didn't last. Way beyound the teenage years. The only reason my marriage works is because my husband it solid and forgiving.
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Thanks for sharing that…that must have taken courage. I don't feel as though I'm in love with him more than I feel like there is a possibility that I could be eventually. Basically, he treats me how I would want to be treated and I feel safe and comfortable around him—which is more than I can say about at least 90% of guys. I also have a strong sexual attraction (chemistry perhaps?) with him which is unlike literally any other guy I've ever met. I'm usually not sexually attracted to guys—I may really enjoy their personality and get along with them, and even feel safe and comfortable around them, but almost never do have all that PLUS sexual attraction.
So yes, there is sexual attraction, but there's much more than that because just because I'm physically attracted to a guy, doesn't mean I'll want anything to do with him since likely I won't feel safe or comfortable around him which is more important to me.