so hi, i am shirley ann ( an alias) and i am 21, i been suffering from psychological abuse my entire life,from no other than my mother, she has been manipulating us since i can remember, she self- pities herself and tries very hard for others to feel bad for her, and if they don't she makes sure to not talk to them ever again, she doesn't have any friends at all so she ends up dumping all of her problems to me... ever since i was little she would tell me all the wicked things (Such as her dad raping her and all the psychological abuse she witnessed and how much her parents loved her sister more than her ect ect) i was around 7-8 the first time she told me about her dad raping her and she was very graphic... anyways as time has gone by she has gotten more and more aggressive and crazy, she yells and curses at me and my dad if we do something like leaving lets say ... putting sugar on your coffee mug and a little spills on the counter she will call us names and say we are dumb and stupid and how we always do stupid things ect. she always tell me to move out and how she hates to see me in her house(aka my dads house) one time (like 3 weeks ago)she was so mad at me and my dad that she said she was going to go live with my grandma her mom who lives next door... me and my dad didnt really want her to leave but we continued with our lives aand tbh it was nice and felt relaxed after like a week of seeing we didnt need her but then she came back .and the peace was gone. like i said before she keeps asking me to move out which i completely understand because i am 21 but the problem is i am still in college (community college)
and i live in the middle of nowhere its like the country and i dont have a car i take rides from her and my sisters husband who lives with us. and she knows this, but she still tells me to leave whenever my opinion differs from hers she calls me names and tells me to gtfo and how she cant stand me she pushes me and calls me stuff like ***** and worthless (this just happened right now). its very saddening and i cry myself to sleep i wish i could go back to america ..since we moved to her home country i have no friends and i know nothing of this place.. i wish i could go back home but my family lives up north and i am from florida... i only have an aunt there but i dont think i can trust her...she did let me stay with her once before... but stupid me came back here, i wish i had the guts to call or txt my aunt and ask if i could stay with her, but being 21 unenployed still in college makes me feel self concious.... shouldnt a 21 yearold already have their life together ? and i am here living with my parents ...i feel so alone, you know i never tell anyone my problems i dont think there was ever a tiime where i sat down and told people what i felt... i tried doing it with my mom but she accused me of trying to make her feel bad, so i just shut up and didnt say anything i wont be surprised if no one replies to this post i am usually someone who gets ignored by everyone..my opinions and thoughts have never matter to anyone.i feel lost and very lonely.