I went to session today with that list of alter discriptions that was on the internet. I discussed it with my t. I explained I am trying to understand my alters better. Understand their jobs better. I think the list helped. I also asked my t about there not being an original me, Basically what she said is that all my parts are the original me just compartmentalized. That made sense and felt right for my system. I also explained to her that I would prefer for her to suggest that my alters spend time together and experience what each other experiences like eating, walking, being out in the world. What I told my t I couldn't do was make an alter do something they didn't want to do or behave other than they do. That will be up to them to include each other in their space. I have a lot to think about. I also admitted to my t that I am afraid of seeing the memories. I am afraid of being consumed by the grief and pain. She tried to comfort me but I turned it off. I do believe that I need to know and to remember. I think I am close. I want to know what happened and put it in the past were it belongs. It is scary though.