"Through action or inaction, by stopping the project that would injure someone or stepping in to stop someone being bullied, my choices are always wrong."

what you did and are doing called integrity,which unfortunately many people lack.i do not think your wife or kids would think higher of you or be proud if you knowingly compromised life of other or ignored the obvious,they are with you because of who you are,It is not difficult to get divorce in today's reality,but you have a family,who stood by you in your darkest day.
know that and believe in your value,without people with integrity and human values we would have been still in neanderthal period