Yes i think it's natural to have these conflictin emotions towards your T. I mean if you think about it, you pretty much talk to them about everything, and i know at least in my case, my T knows things that i wouldn't want anyone else to know. It takes a lot of guts to tell your T all of this, especially if you're not comfortable with talking about it. I think thats what makes it hard because there is a part in everyone (IMO) that wants to be able to have someone they can tell everything to, and it can get a little sticky in the process, making people want to shy away or back off from the situation.
I do think that you're doing the right thing though, as hard as it is. Stick it out with your T, or if you are are still feeling really uneasy about it, tell them that you don't always want to talk about it, or if you do, that you will bring it up.
Hope this helps....
Jacq