Quote:
Originally Posted by IGotThis
I agree that it is a weaning off process, but sometimes the most reasonable way of stopping isn't the way they make you.... I fear that if they do really mean absolutely nothing, you will either not be completely honest, which will hinder your recovery, you will just stop and be okay, you will try to stop, and not be able to fight the urge and hurt yourself worse, or do it and get dismissed from the IOP.... Please let us know what they say, because I want to be here for you to help you through it if they don't say what you want (or even if they do, I'm still here)...
It's no problem... I understand the need to just tell someone, but not being able to talk to the people sitting right next to you...
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I have a feeling I will not be too honest with them about the self-harming... They can hold you for 72 hours in this state for very little, and a doctor had already tried for my sh a few months ago. I do not want to go through that again. I can talk to my T about it (she does not get too worked up over it, but there is a legit safety concern so we have agreed that I will be completely honest with her about it), but I hesitate to let anyone else in on it. I guess I will feel out the staff at the IOP and figure out my boundaries with that. I would prefer to be able to be honest about it and seek support in working through it, but at the same time, I am not sure I am ready to stop. It brings with is such relief and release... it helps keep the suicidal thinking in check.
Thanks for being here and responding to everything.
I know I should be able to trust the person I'm with, but I have put her through so much trauma with it already, I don't want to compound that. My self-harm is VERY upsetting to her. I just try to keep it in check and only tell her when I absolutely HAVE to say something (like when it was starting to get out of control over the summer and I felt I needed a short hospital stay to interrupt the cycle... I told her then because I needed to explain the trip).