I purged again tonight.

And I actually don't regret it.

I'd been emotionally on edge for the last two days and finally gave in and cut (I tried to wait until the last ones were previously healed). Then tonight, I was eating ice cream (not a binge amount) and just decided to purge it.

This is the fourth time in maybe two months?

It didn't hurt, and (i guess cause it was icecream) it came out easily. I also didn't do it as much before (it didn't come out of nose), so that probably helped.

I don't have an ED. I've solely been doing it for self harm purposes. I just like the way it feels but I know if I do it too much it can cause some pretty harmful effects.

Does the fact that i'm not doing it a lot help? Or that i'm only doing it partially - until it "feels good" (vs. feeling like I got it all out)? Does the fact that I care about the answers to those questions in the first place mean that I do at least care about myself a little bit?