Another good one:

When I was psychotic, I thought that the guy I was seeing was trying to kill me so I was afraid to go home.

I walked into a Barnes and Noble and casually sauntered into the Ladies room around closing time. I turned off the light and crouched down behind one of the filthy toilets. When a worker came to close up for the night, he saw that the light was already out and probably assumed another worker had checked the stalls.

I had this urge to go and scarf down a blueberry muffin from the Cafe or make myself a Venti Macchiato, but I was sure they had motion sensors and I would be caught.

Needless to say, I didn't get a good nights sleep. When the cleaning crew came in the next morning around 7am, I just pretended I was a worker using one of the toilets. And damn they sure did clean that Ladies room!! They must have been in there for an hour. And all the while I am supposedly taking a 'dump' for an hour!

When they left, so did I and went on to the next town....