Nice to meet some fellow insomniacs Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts Mary. I am a similar age to you (37). I get sickness from tablets too but I've decided to at least try not to worry about side effects too much and just see what happens. I am very impatient, but it is dawning on me that nothing will happen fast.

What you wrote about therapy really resonates with how I feel. It would be very useful to learn some tools which will help me manage my behaviour. But equally I need to sort out my thoughts, and talking therapy would really help I think. I want to understand how I got to where I am now, and ultimately learn to accept who I am and understand how I can move forward. At the moment I just feel stuck, helpless and hopeless.

So it's not unusual for people to try several meds? I'm not sure I'll get referred to a psychiatrist on the NHS unless I am suicidal (which thankfully I am not). My assessment with the depression & anxiety service is in three weeks. I will have to wait and see what they offer me.

Over the next few days I will try and write about some aspects of my life which I believe have played a part in my depression. I have been feeling very unwell for the past eight months or so. Several of my symptoms go back between two and six years, and some (like insomnia) more than 15 years.

Thanks for the encouragement sophiesmum. Apart from the therapeutic aspect it will be nice to follow each other's stories, progress, ups and down. It feels so nice to know that I am not the only one out there.