Thanks for replying
so far he has been really understanding ,he has mental health difficulties himself
sometimes I think if he wasn't so understanding it would be easier to try and make myself normal with him ,when I behave unreasonably he never lets me apologise and it drives me mad ,I know it isn't okay to be like this with him ,I thought it was part of my BPD but I have OCD too and im wondering if its more about relationship OCD
I really do love him so much and I try ,I don't think he helps by being so forgiving all of the time ,he just says I have nothing to apologise for which makes me worse because I feel guilt for being so weird with him
I wish it could be normal with him ,I really don't know what my problem is ,he is wonderful and caring and kind ,I know he would never hurt me ,I need to try harder I know I do ,im not used to nice men in my life ,and I feel I need to be perfect or I will lose him ,which makes me worse
I have suggested to him a few times we don't have contact for a while but he says no ,he loves me and wants to help ,its all so confusing
xx