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I think you need to tell all this to your doctor. Sounds like something is going on. However, I don't think any of us enjoy doing the mundane things. But with thoughts of killing yourself your doctor should be the first call you make.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin
"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha
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