We talked about the pills again, and he wants me to get rid of any of the pills that I don't need as a safety plan because he says he doesn't trust me to call if I need help, and to just do it. I really don't know if I'll throw them all away. But now I'm treading in deep water, because he said if I admit to 'experimenting' how many to take that he'll be forced to admit me.

Cutting is something I'm used to, taking pills is totally new and different for me. Part of it is that I can hide it better than scars, and with surgery coming up, I don't want a bunch of scars all over me. Has anyone had a complete switch in the way they self harm?