Thanks to all for your kind words and for sharing some of your own stories/thoughts. I completely understand how it would be "difficult" to "prove", but it is just so upsetting to think that he will carry on this behavior and attitude with my girls. I think he has a deep rooted hate for women in general, based on watching his OWN mother be verbally and emotionally abused her ENTIRE life, and NEVER seeing her leave or at least stand her ground. He has this odd sense of enormous respect for her as the "perfect" woman and mother, but I think that it is tainted with a total lack of respect as well, for her never being strong enough to stand up to his dad. Apparently when he was about 11, and his younger brother was 8, his parents sat them down and told them they were divorcing. He has told me that shortly after that, all of the fighting magically seemed to stop. When I asked why, he told me that she gave up and quit fighting and just went along with doing everything the way his Dad wanted. To THIS day, while he is close with his parents in general, he still hates the way his dad speaks to and treats his mother. Yet, he turns around and does the VERY same thing to me, in front of OUR children.

I understand the psychology behind this, very well, by now. I have been in therapy for years, and I read everything I can on this topic and many other Psych topics. I guess I just have to accept that the ONLY thing I can do is BREAK the pattern, with my children. While I would love to just "stay married" for their sake, even remaining in a loveless and sexless marriage....and likely would have done so, he could not even attempt to be respectful as "friends" and still tried to control and criticize me daily. It became too much to handle and finally, we decided to divorce.

I have kept a journal throughout most of my marriage. And one day, I WILL write a book/memoir/blog....SOMETHING about EA and MY own personal experience with it, in an attempt to help others and in an attempt to bring awareness to a very REAL problem, even with the "invisible" wounds. And one day, when my girls are old enough, if they ask to read them, and have a basic understanding of WHY our marriage failed, I will let them.

Thanks again for your replies.